Status Updates by Behlugabob 

Behlugabob 

If you touch my incense I'll f***ing end you

Behlugabob 

I wish you'd pass me that f***ing aux cord

Behlugabob 

If your lock or home screen is a selfie then just stop

Behlugabob 

Jesus Christ walks into a motel. He hands the inn keeper 3 nails and he asks, "Could ya put me up for the night?"

Behlugabob 

I FOUND MY DREAM GIRL AND SHE'S A METAL HEAD LIKE MEEEEE

Behlugabob 

God D*** my forehead is huge

Behlugabob 

You know you're a fat f*** when you search "donuts near me" on google maps

Behlugabob 

Sometimes looking at your "stalkers" on here is kind of depressing because someone really attractive can just go on yiur profile and look at you and be like "ew no" and not wanna friend you lol

Behlugabob 

I get worried when I kiss people because I'm afraid that my big ass nose is gonna jab em in the eyeball or something

Behlugabob 

People who like to be called "daddy" while getting penetrated need to stop